My brother in law ( who we're meeting in Canadia later in our trip ) was told by his travel agent not to fly with Hawaiian Airlines. Well piffle I say ! They left Sydney on time and arrived in Honolulu ten minutes early. The hostesses had accents that were more akin to those heard on Fargo, but they assured me they were Hawaiian. The food was attributed to a bigwig Thai chef from Honolulu - but was somewhat limited. The only meal choice was a spicy chicken and rice dish which had enough fresh chilli to send the heart rates and sweat glands of the uninitiated racing. Honolulu customs was under the pump, with 4 International flights arriving at the same time. After 20 minutes waiting on the tarmac, we stepped onto the ' land of the obese and the home of the free '. Clearing Customs was a doddle. Only needed the perfunctory ' four fingers right hand, thumb right hand, four fingers left hand, thumb left hand scan and face photograph. I was tempted to ask if they wanted me to 'put my left foot in, put my left foot out, put my left foot in and shake it all about ' but The Librarian gave me the evil eye so I asked for a smiley face stamp on my passport and headed to the baggage collection area. Now I have travelled to most of the world's continents, but this was the first time that I'd arrived at the baggage carousel and found that some airport do-gooder had taken all the cases off and placed them in lines next to the carousel. WTF ! Do they realise that our brains cannot decode bags that are not in circular motion when we have been programmed that way from 'in utero'. $40 later and we've arrived at our self contained apartment at The Ilikai Resort Hotel in Waikiki ( I'll say that again - WAIKIKI !! ). The entrance to the Hotel was featured in the opening credits to Hawaii 5-0. That probably means nothing to anyone under 30. It's situated adjacent to the Yacht Marina from where the Minnow left on a 3 hour Tour ( explanation for non- Trivial pursuit addicts at end of blog ). So we checked in to our room on the 21st floor - not overlooking the beach - but a more glitzy view of the city,  and headed off for some retail therapy. Apparently the Ala Moana Center ( notice that I've picked up the American spelling - I've even dropped my u's ) is the largest outdoor shopping complex in the world with 290 shops. I think we missed 3 ! Lunch in the Food Court was a shared Local Boys plate which comprised of luau pork ( slow cooked pulled pork ), pork pieces and salted butterfish cooked in taro leaves, marinated raw salmon with tomato and spring onion, poi ( a purple starchy extraction of taro root - porridge like and tasteless but the staple carbohydrate of the Pacific Islands ), and a cube of coconut tofu to cleanse the palate.  After another few hours and miles ( America remember ), we returned to WAIKIKI, chillaxed for a few hours and I headed of to the local Food Pantry to purchase supplies for dinner - sashimi grade tuna, seaweed salad, potatoes, carrots, Californian MC, American gin, tonic water and Haagen Dazs icecream. Nice job if you can get it ! Dinner on the balcony then we realised it was probably 4 in the morning the day after ( or was it the day before ? ) in Australia so we turned off the aircon - did I forget to mention it was a balmy 28 degrees C ( stuff Fahrenheit ) and it's been that temp every day since Jimmy Cook  asked the local chief : " what are you planning to put in that pot ?" - and wished a fond 'Aloha' to the Polynesian gods who watch over all visitors to the Hawaiian Islands.

* The opening scene of each episode of Gilligan's Island shows the Minnow leaving from the Waikiki Yacht Marina *