San Francisco - A city of 2 faces

It was somewhat of a shock to the Librarian when, after the salubrious ( if somewhat dated ) digs we enjoyed in Honolulu, we moved to the Post Hotel in Frisco. The fresh paint and spruce up she had recently received didn't hide the fact she was showing her age. The room was one third the size, the view was of the tenement next door, the lobby staff were uninterested

Biscuits and Blues

Just finishing off the electricals

Custard tarts ? Who would have thought !

but as least the water pressure in the shower was good ! Breakfast was a savoury croissant and a cup of drip filtered java at a nearby hipster café and then straight into a bit of retail therapy followed by a tea tasting and yum cha in Chinatown. The city was alive and vibrant and apparently full of tourists on this fine Saturday of the Labour Day weekend. We're getting the knack of keeping to the right hand side of the footpath as is the American way. For dinner we ended up at a nearby classy Italian restaurant - and enjoyed two local fish dishes - halibut and sole - and 2 glasses of Californian white.

"When the lights go down in the California town people are in for the evening". So sang John Stewart in his 70's hit 'Gold', but nothing could be further from the truth in SF. It was like a can had been opened disgorging buskers and beggars on each corner - the majority being African Americans (  nothing had changed since we were last here 17 years ago ). So we decided to combine a late night supper with the Tennessee tones of Eric Thomas and the Rhumboogies at the Biscuits and Blues Club......"I'm a crosscut saw baby, drag me across your lawn".

Vulcanology 101 meets Patriotism 103.

Our 2 big full day tours were to Pearl Harbor ( Tue ) and the Volcanoes ( Thu ). Pearl Harbor is only a 30 min drive from Honolulu and we opted for 4 separate tours on the day. We bookended the start and finish of WW2 for the U.S. with the USS Arizona Memorial ( sunk by the Japanese on that 'day of infamy' ) and a tour of the USS Missouri ( where the peace declaration was signed in Tokyo Bay ). In a way, Pearl Harbor was America's Gallipoli - and it oozes with patriotism. The Arizona Memorial - floating over the sunken wreck of the battleship - is their Shrine of Remembrance. 

And then to Hawaii ( the island ) from Hawaii ( the country ) to get a ground and aerial view of the active volcanoes. Underground lava flows are occurring, and we got to glimpse a couple of spots where the flow was exposed from our helicopter. The rest of our day was all about lava,lava,lava. I was surprised that none of the souvenir shops sold lava lamps, but the Librarian stocked up on treats from the chocolate factory and a couple of the obligatory ' I survived the volcano t-shirts'.

Mai Tai's, sand and surfboards - just about says it all !

TEN THINGS YOU MIGHTN'T KNOW ABOUT HAWAII :

1. Some idiot introduced mongooses to control rats in the sugar cane fields and guess what happened ? ( Sound familiar ? ).
2. Hawaiians love the Australian sense of humour - it could be that they are laughing at me not with me.
3. The local coffee producers are marketing a juice made from the extract of coffee cherries ( that's the red bit that encases the coffee bean ) blended with pineapple juice. It's being marketed as a super antioxidant ( SAO ). I've done my bit for the cause and developed a Ginsao. If you haven't tried it, don't knock it !
4. The Rainbow motif adorns the number plates of all vehicles but gay marriage is illegal.
5. The classic cocktail ' Mai Tai ' was invented in Hawaii, but can you get one using the local rum ? They might as well rename it the ' Usain Bolt'.
6. Every letter is pronounced in the Hawaiian language - I love hearing them say 'telephone'.
7. 5 bob each way ? In trying to appease both the Brits and the Yankees, the Hawaiian flag is the Union flag combined with the American stripes.
8. It is suggested that Pearl Harbour could have been avoided. The general consensus is that the person in charge of monitoring the radar that fateful day relayed the following message : " Don't worry. they're ours ".
9. The bastards stole our macadamias ( they're the largest producer of macadamia nuts in the world ).
10. When asked what Captain Cook tasted like, the spokesman for the Chief who took the first bite said : " a cross between chicken and fish ".

My brother in law ( who we're meeting in Canadia later in our trip ) was told by his travel agent not to fly with Hawaiian Airlines. Well piffle I say ! They left Sydney on time and arrived in Honolulu ten minutes early. The hostesses had accents that were more akin to those heard on Fargo, but they assured me they were Hawaiian. The food was attributed to a bigwig Thai chef from Honolulu - but was somewhat limited. The only meal choice was a spicy chicken and rice dish which had enough fresh chilli to send the heart rates and sweat glands of the uninitiated racing. Honolulu customs was under the pump, with 4 International flights arriving at the same time. After 20 minutes waiting on the tarmac, we stepped onto the ' land of the obese and the home of the free '. Clearing Customs was a doddle. Only needed the perfunctory ' four fingers right hand, thumb right hand, four fingers left hand, thumb left hand scan and face photograph. I was tempted to ask if they wanted me to 'put my left foot in, put my left foot out, put my left foot in and shake it all about ' but The Librarian gave me the evil eye so I asked for a smiley face stamp on my passport and headed to the baggage collection area. Now I have travelled to most of the world's continents, but this was the first time that I'd arrived at the baggage carousel and found that some airport do-gooder had taken all the cases off and placed them in lines next to the carousel. WTF ! Do they realise that our brains cannot decode bags that are not in circular motion when we have been programmed that way from 'in utero'. $40 later and we've arrived at our self contained apartment at The Ilikai Resort Hotel in Waikiki ( I'll say that again - WAIKIKI !! ). The entrance to the Hotel was featured in the opening credits to Hawaii 5-0. That probably means nothing to anyone under 30. It's situated adjacent to the Yacht Marina from where the Minnow left on a 3 hour Tour ( explanation for non- Trivial pursuit addicts at end of blog ). So we checked in to our room on the 21st floor - not overlooking the beach - but a more glitzy view of the city,  and headed off for some retail therapy. Apparently the Ala Moana Center ( notice that I've picked up the American spelling - I've even dropped my u's ) is the largest outdoor shopping complex in the world with 290 shops. I think we missed 3 ! Lunch in the Food Court was a shared Local Boys plate which comprised of luau pork ( slow cooked pulled pork ), pork pieces and salted butterfish cooked in taro leaves, marinated raw salmon with tomato and spring onion, poi ( a purple starchy extraction of taro root - porridge like and tasteless but the staple carbohydrate of the Pacific Islands ), and a cube of coconut tofu to cleanse the palate.  After another few hours and miles ( America remember ), we returned to WAIKIKI, chillaxed for a few hours and I headed of to the local Food Pantry to purchase supplies for dinner - sashimi grade tuna, seaweed salad, potatoes, carrots, Californian MC, American gin, tonic water and Haagen Dazs icecream. Nice job if you can get it ! Dinner on the balcony then we realised it was probably 4 in the morning the day after ( or was it the day before ? ) in Australia so we turned off the aircon - did I forget to mention it was a balmy 28 degrees C ( stuff Fahrenheit ) and it's been that temp every day since Jimmy Cook  asked the local chief : " what are you planning to put in that pot ?" - and wished a fond 'Aloha' to the Polynesian gods who watch over all visitors to the Hawaiian Islands.

* The opening scene of each episode of Gilligan's Island shows the Minnow leaving from the Waikiki Yacht Marina *